NXNE Day III–Six More Great Bands w/a “Best Live Show” as the Topper

Counting up the acts I heard and the venues I visited last week NXNE in Toronto I see that over the four days of live music, I heard thirty acts at sixteen different venues, including outdoor events in Trinity-Bellwoods Park; in-store shows; and nightclubs. Even so, there were at least a dozen or two more acts I really wanted to hear, but whose shows I just couldn’t get to. I’ll be making an effort to listen to their recorded music over the coming weeks and months, and before I’m done covering this year’s NXNE I’ll mention the bands I couldn’t get to hear. Much as I’d like to say I found time this year for a film or a comedy club, I limited my recreation to live music. Even at that, I missed lots of acts I would like to have heard. I  hope one of these years to catch a documentary or some comedians. While still in Toronto I posted about Day I (Wednesday) and Day II (Thursday) and about the CBC Radio 3 picnic, on the Saturday afternoon. Now that I’m back in NYC, caught up on other work, and with all my pictures downloaded and cropped, I’ll write here about the the live shows I heard on the Friday of NXNE.
—-

The Urban Outfitters store on Queen Street West has a second level that is actually not a bad performance space. Late Friday afternoon I went to hear the duo Dusted, with exciting electric guitarist Brian Borcherdt, formerly of the band Holy Fuck. During NXNE 2011 I heard Borcherdt play solo, so it was nice to hear him working with a drummer, who also had a keyboard nearby. Dusted plays a raw, basic sound that was easy to like, and quite melodic. In Spin magazine, the single from their album “Total Dust,” got this praise:  “'(Into The) Atmosphere,’ is ‘a dewy lo-fi pop ramble, with sweetly multi-tracked vocals, cavernous layers of melancholy guitar strums, and galloping, off-kilter percussion.’”28 Brian Borcherdt

A party for the end of the CBC Beetle Road Trip was the next item on the Friday afternoon/early evening schedule, the culmination of the 7000KM drive taken in a Fender guitar-branded VW. CBC Radio 3 host Grant Lawrence helmed the drive, with CBC staffers Brian Cauley and Brent Hodge producing audio and video content for CBC Music. The caravan (they actually had two cars) stopped in different cities along the way and taped live sessions with more than a half-dozen Canadian indie groups. The arrival party was a blast, with The Darcys playing. They gave Grant a Blue Jays cap. I’m going to write about it separate from this post. Meantime, here’s a picture of Grant’s arrival:28b Beetle

From CBC HQs I walked north and east to the Cameron House on Queen St. West where ManitobaMusic.com was holding a showcase, with country singer Kayla Luky and her band up first. I had not heard her before, and was pleasantly taken with her clear voice, original songs, and her excellent lead guitarist, who looked like he just got down off a hot tractor, in overalls and sleeveless flannel shirt. 31 Kayla Luky

I’m a big fan of Winnipeg band Imaginary Cities, and though I’ve seen them several times before, I made a point of catching their set this night at the Mod Club. This was a much larger venue than I’d ever heard them play before, and their power pop sound, with Marti Sarbit’s intensely likable voice, was well up to the task of filling the big space and capturing the interest and attention of a couple hundred listeners, many of whom it seemed hadn’t known this great band or their songs at all. Their second album, “The Fall of Romance,” has been about a month, and by now, I like all the songs from it as well as their great debut, “Temporary Resident.”32a Imaginary Cities

After leaving the Mod Club I remembered I hadn’t had dinner, so I stopped at a vendor’s stand on College Street, where a street festival was in full swing. I bought a pulled pork sandwich and munching away, walked down Ossington Street to the Dakota Tavern to hear Paul Langlois, a veteran member of one of Canada’s long-lived and most popular bands, The Tragically Hip. The Dakota is a great venue with a relaxed vibe where acoustic players and pickers are often showcased–on weekend mornings they even serve a bluegrass bunch. But the band Langlois assembled for this show–a high-revving 4-piece–was no stripped-down outfit, including as it did the Hip’s shredding lead guitarist Rob Baker. This was meant to be a showcase for Langois’ own material, and though I’d never heard these dark excursions in minor keys, my ear took right to them.34 Paul Langois

Another act soon took the stage at the Dakota, a band called Tin Star Orphans. I had time to listen to only two of their country rock songs, but I liked what I heard.  34a Tin Star Orphans

I now had about twenty minutes to get to my next show with The Matinee, a great live band from Vancouver, British Columbia, who were scheduled to play a 1:00 AM show at the Supermarket, near my hotel in the Kensington Market neighborhood, where Shred Kelly had killed it the night before. I didn’t want to be late so took a cab down Dundas Street and walked the rest of the way up Augusta Street to the club. When I arrived I saw lots of friends from the CBC Radio 3 fan community. The Matinee had played on 2012’s Track on Tracks rock n’ roll extravaganza which traveled with ten bands and lots of fans from Vancouver to Toronto, a railroad excursion that made The Matinee fan favorites of many folks. I had heard and enjoyed them last year, but the set they played this night was leaps beyond anything I’d heard from them before. The songs on their one album, “We Swore We’d See the Sunrise,” are bright and country-tinged with sweet harmonies (listen to “Sweetwater” for latter-day Everly Brothers harmonies). They also blessed to have as their lead guitarist Matt Rose, a true guitar god sort of player. He’s tall and athletic in his movements, with long arms and legs, long black hair, and just a stunning riff-ripper. He clearly relished and fed richly off of the audience’s boisterous enjoyment of his cutting lines. During their encore he jumped down from the stage in to the audience, playing right among us. At the end, he heaved his acoustic back on the stage as a kind of declamation of satisfaction, not worrying about the instrument. Here are a couple pictures from The Matinee’s great show, one of the very best shows of my NXNE. In the first pic, that’s Matt Rose on the right, playing a Fender Telecaster and moving so quickly I couldn’t capture him in focus, flanked by lead singer Matt Layzell. The second picture shows Matt Rose and bandmate Geoff Petrie amid the crowd during that wild encore.

36 Matinee37 Matinee
Before going to bed that night I tweeted this:

After I got back to NYC from Toronto, CBC Radio 3 Fan of the Year Christine McAvoy, a professional photographer, shared many of her NXNE pictures, including this one (on the right). In it I am surrounded by R3 friends, listening to The Matinee at a quieter moment of their show, holding my IPad, and tweeting about it in real time. Since I started writing this blog it’s the first “action shot” of me, so to speak, at work. I thank Christine for quickly giving permission for me use it here.
PT at The MatineeTo return the favor, the next photo (on the left) shows Christine (holding her camera high, in straw hat) at The Matinee show during the encore. 38 Matinee

My friends were moving on to a 2:00 AM show with We Are the City, but I declined to join them, feeling satisfied to end the night with The Matinee’s show. I headed back to my room so I could get some sleep before a Saturday morning breakfast with book business friends Michael Martin and Margot Stokreef.

Families that Make Art Together

1 BannerOn my final day in Toronto last Sunday–after the NXNE festival had waned to a grateful, glorious end after 4 days of good times and memorable music–I spent the morning with my dear relatives Marcy and Abe Fish (pictured below with me, in a picture taken June 2012), eating brunch at their house, and then in the evening going to a gallery opening put on by some friends in the local music and art community.1 Marcy & Abe Fish

For the latter, before I’d left NYC I wrote to Jenny Mecija, to let her know I would be in town. With her sister Casey, Jenny forms part of the chamber pop group, Ohbijou. Jenny replied and invited me to an opening on the Sunday night for an exhibit, My Father, Francis, the culmination of Casey’s Masters degree work at the University of Toronto, her subject being their father. I was eager to join Jenny and her family for the occasion, even before I learned that the gallery, in Toronto’s enviably authentic and still-bohemian Kensington Market neighborhood, was only a 10-minute walk from my hotel.

When I arrived I found a bright gallery space filled with warm evening light, a friendly crowd, and many useful steel and plastic objects and implements presented for viewing, all designed and fabricated by Mr. Mecija. I greeted Jenny and after a hug she explained that their father had over the years often worked odd shifts at the brewery where he was employed. With some free time, and access to found or discarded materials, he could freely repurpose them for projects of his own. The result is a fascinating collection of handsome and useful objects that concretize the elder Mecija’s affection for his family, and his desire that they have access to useful objects that will improve the quality of their daily lives.

Speaking of quality of life, the whole evening was put on in special fashion, with delicious food being served at the Filippino social hall Kapisaanan, a few doors down Augusta Street from the gallery, Videofag. During the evening I had enjoyable conversations with many people: Jenny, Casey, and guests: James Bunton, also a member of Ohbijou, and a record producer who did Loon Choir’s latest album; Heather Kirby, bassist in Ohbjou; Hannah Dyer, Casey’s companion, and the author of a perceptive essay (below) about being a daughter; Hannah’s sister, Monica, who works for the UN from Toronto, and is often in NYC; her companion, Drew, who works in alternative energy; Dina, Casey’s thesis advisor at University ot Toronto, who shared with me her impatience with people who actively disdain social media, refusing to see that for many people trying to forge ahead nowadays, creating and maintaining a socially networked presence is for them an imperative. In addition, a third Mecija sister was at the gallery with her childen, making this a proper three-generation affair.

I also met Francis, Casey’s father, and conmplimented him on his creative handiness. Mr. Mecija was cheerful the entire evening, and his wife, Casey and Jenny’s mom, was hospitable to everyone. Seeing my own relatives and then hanging at the gallery with the Mecija family was a great way to spend Father’s Day. Please click here to see all pictures.

Recorded Music I’ve Collected at NXNE + CBC Radio 3 Picnic

Almost too busy to post or write about yesterday’s NXNE. This being Saturday it’s probably the fullest day of programming all week. But I’ll share something here, pics of the CDs I’ve gotten since arriving here on Wednesday. Some have been given to me, some I was glad to pay for. It’ll be great when I get back to NYC and unpackage them. Sunday should be quieter, so probably more coverage coming here.

Below is an EP and a full album by Crissi Cochrane, a friend from the CBC Radio 3 blog community, and an emerging artist in her own right. I had never met her before today at the annual CBC Radio 3 picnic, nor heard her sing. She has a beguiling voice and presence, as shown in the pic below her recorded music.

width=500
width=500

As noted in my Day II post below, on Thursday night I heard Toronto band Inlet Sound at The Cameron House. I really enjoyed hearing them, and was glad CBC Radio 3 host Grant Lawrence also invited them to the picnic today. Like Crissi, they are also pictured below their album “The Romantics.” Alongside it is the album I picked up by Union Duke, also on Thursday night.

width=500

 

width=500

Next are Loon Choir’s two albums. They became new favorites of mine when I heard them on Thursday night. Here’s my post that includes a write-up on that show.

width=500

Also, here’s an album by The Darcys. They were the musical guests at CBC HQs last night where Grant Lawrence ended the 7000KM cross-country CBC Beetle Road Trip. Last is The Matinee‘s “We Swore We’d See the Sunrise.” They played last night at the Supermarket, after which I tweeted:

@philipsturner: The Matinee just played one of the best live sets ever. They owned the crowd&the stage. @NXNE @thematineemusic http://t.co/u2LJxEYREX

 

NXNE Day II–Another Musical Bounty

Up early Friday after another night (and day) of great music and fun times with good friends at many different venues, from outdoors in a green Toronto park to crowded nightclubs. I'm meeting two journalist friends this morning, but I’ll get started on this recap now and work on it throughout the day.

Thursday afternoon, I walked to Trinity-Bellwoods Park to do one of my favorite things–listen to music outdoors. I heard sets by Olenka and the Autumn Lovers, a trio whose sound is tinged with Eastern-European tones; Maylee Todd, who with her 6-piece band wowed the happy crowd seated on the grass with her R&B sounds and the expressive dancers that accompanied her songs; and Kalle Mattson, a talented singer-songwriter who with his three bandmates played a song he co-wrote with Jeremy Fisher, another favorite Canadian musician of mine. Under threatening clouds, we were all really glad the rain stayed away long enough for these three sets.

width=500

 

width=500
width=500

In the early evening I walked down Bathurst in heavy rain to a party sponsored by the e-reader company, Kobo. I know them of course as a book industry presence, and was really glad to see them representing at NXNE. Held at a club called the Hoxton, I was excited when I bumped in to several friends from the CBC Radio 3 blog community, folks whom I would see at other venues later in the evening.

width=500

The rain let up as I walked to the Cameron House to hear Inlet Sound, who played last night as an acoustic trio, sans their usual drums&bass. Playing seated, they showed great voices which the big room could barely contain. Their own songs are terrific, but they really surprised and pleased with a cover of Wintersleep's rock classic, Weighty Ghost,' great to hear in this unplugged setting. After their set, I was excited to get a copy of their album, The Romantics.

width=500

Shred Kelly, a stoke folk outfit from ski haven, Fernie, British Columbia, played one of the most rousing sets of music I've ever had the good luck to hear. Foot-stompin' hardly does justice to the live show this 5-piece put on last night at the Supermarket club in Kensington Market. I love their style and am eager to hear them again tomorrow when they'll be playing an acoustic set at the annual CBC Radio 3 picnic, also held in Trinity-Bellwoods Park, coordinated by CBC host Grant Lawrence.

width=500

Next, I cabbed over to the Great Hall with two CBC Radio 3 friends for a mostly solo bluesy set by Michael Rault.

width=500

From the Great Hall I walked to the nearby Drake Hotel where in their Underground club Loon Choir was to play an 11PM set. There I met Katherine Cauley, who plays fiddle in this 7-piece outfit from Ottawa. Also in the house were Katherine's parents and her brother Brian, who until the other day had been on the CBC Beetle Road Trip that's brought Grant Lawrence all the way from Vancouver in a 6000KM road trip. Brian is a radio engineer, who's been producing radio segments that are then being shared on the CBC Radio 3 website and in social media. Brian and Grant were joined on the trip by videographer and filmmaker Brent Hodge, who was also there last night to hear Loon Choir. Other Radio 3 fans in the room were friends who I know mostly by their blog and twitter handles: @Shonica and @HedgeHogFriend. Loon Choir is a terrific live act with lots of dynamic energy, particularly from their lead singer, Derek. At one point, he unfurled a banner emblazoned with a message, Occupy Gezi Park, in support of the current uprising by progressives in Turkey. The music had lots of uplift and great power chords that made the tunes, many of which I hadn't heard before, instantly likable. I got their two CDs and look forward to hearing their studio sound.

width=500

At 11:45, I hailed a cab and asked the driver to take to the Mapgie, where rootsy band Union Duke would be playing at the top of the hour. I had been invited to this concert by a new friend I made this week, Toronto journalism student and TV company staffer, Harriet Luke. She has a few friends in this band, and I was delighted to have been alerted to them. Like Shred Kelly, they are another foot-stomping 5-piece featuring banjo, handmade percussion, and great vocals. The room was humid and warm, and soon people were shedding their jackets and hitting the dance floor.

I cooled down on the walk back to my hotel and soon hit what my late father Earl Turner used to call the featherball, i.e., the pillow, eager for Friday and another day of fun at NXNE.

 

Day I of NXNE: A Musical Banquet

I heard terrific music last night at some excellent Toronto venues. All the artists I heard were new to me. Here's a rundown:

Right on time at 8 PM at the club Central, I sat at a front table and listened to Marta Pacek, an Aussie-born, Toronto-dwelling singer songwriter who led a terrific 4-piece band. Her accent was evident in her between-song banter, but not in her strong singing voice. After their set, I enjoyed meeting Pacek and her friend, writer Neil Murchison, who gave me a download card so I can later hear more of Pacek's music. Here's a pic I took during the show.

width=500

Next up was a lively outfit with a rather dolorous name, The Maladies of Adam Stokes. They played a 9 PM set at the Legendary Horseshoe Tavern, the only club I know of that manages to squeeze an adjective like that in to its name! The venue has earned it, though, as they recently marked their 50th anniversary of presenting great live music. I'm sure I'll be back at the 'Shoe' several times this week. Here's a shot of their lead singer and keyboard player.

width=500

Next, I took a Toronto street car then walked to reach a club called The Boat, near Kensington Market, where young punk band The Mouthbreathers were playing a 9:45 set. This 4-piece–two women guitarists & a two-man rhythm section on bass and drums–had all the energy associated with 80s punk–playing brief songs fast, loud, and hard. It was the lead singer's 23rd birthday, pictured below on the right. I stood on a riser near the merch table to get this shot, raising myself a bit above the boisterous crowd who stuck with the band all the way.

width=500

From The Boat I walked with friend Amit Saha–known as @XCanuck on the CBC Radio 3 blog–to a club on Queen Street West called Czehoski. We wanted to check out The Almight Rhombus, from Sudbury, Ontario, who were playing at 11 PM. They turned out to be one of the highlights of my evening. This 5-piece, which includes 3 brothers, played hooky songs with great energy on the club's very narrow stage. The joy they took in playing their own material was infectious. I met one of the brothers after the show and introduced myself as the writer of this blog. He gave me a copy of their self-titled five song CD.

width=500

I left Amit at the Czehoski bar where he was watching the first overtime of Game 1 in the Stanley Cup finals, for what turned out to be a triple overtime game. I walked down Queen Street to one of my most favorite venues, the Cameron House. I barely bothered to check who was even playing, because they always have good bands. The Cameron's front room usually features country and acoustic-oriented acts, while the back room has fuller bands. In the back room, I discovered the excellent Julian Taylor Band, fronted by the extravagantly dreadlocked and handsomely suited Taylor, who played funk and soul-inflected pop with a reggae touch. His keyboard player, shown below on the left, was terrific, too. They ended their set with a crowd-pleasing cover of I Shot the Sheriff.

width=500

I moved on to the front room where a 5-piece country outfit called Dear Sister were showing post-midnight revelers a great time. Fronted by two talented women (not sisters, I learned), and featuring an excellent lead guitarist who didn't fit on the tiny stage, they played original material and got many in the crowd dancing and making graceful moves to their sweet harmonies.

width=500

With that, I walked back to my hotel room happy and satisfied with all the great music I heard on just my first day at NXNE. Below is a shot of my NXNE badge that's getting me in to so many great shows. Can't wait for what's to come today and tonight.

 

To Toronto for North by Northeast (NXNE), June 12-17 + Exploring New Media Connections

For the third consecutive year I’ll be attending Toronto’s North by Northeast festival (NXNE), which I’ll be covering as accredited press for this blog The Great Gray Bridge, which I began the day after Halloween in 2011. The festival, which stretches across the big city on the northern shore of Lake Ontario, takes place at 100s of venues, combining live music shows with artists from Canada and other countries; comedy shows; films; and panels and presentations on interactive and digital topics. I arrive tomorrow, June 12, and will be in town until next Monday night, June 17. I look forward to making new friends and meeting up with many of my old pals from the CBC Radio 3 blog and fan community, coordinated by the inspired work of our ringmaster, Grant Lawrence, radio host, author, and catalytic ambassador for Canadian indie rock n’ roll. Grant is also expected to arrive in Toronto tomorrow, as he completes the CBC Beetle Road Trip, a 5000KM music discovery journey that he began in Vancouver almost three weeks ago.

In addition to covering NXNE, I’ll be working in the area of my publishing consultancy. I’ll be seeing people at Speakerfile.com–a Toronto company whose brand is visible at the upper right corner of this website–one of my chief consulting clients. I also have meetings and meals set up with Canadian publishing, book industry, and media friends and am still seeking out confabs with new contacts. Because Canadian politics is being keenly followed by readers in the States these days–over issues that really matter to my avid audience, such as transnational oil politics and trade issues; the hard sell by the Harper gov’t of the Keystone pipeline and PBO’s looming decision on what to do about Alberta’s tar sands; the always eventful mayoralty of Toronto’s Rob Ford; and many, many US and Canadian shared musical and literary touchpoints.  My goal in Toronto will be to explore with media contacts how the coverage I do here of Canadian culture, books, publishing, and politics–all composed from the personal viewpoint of a longtime bookseller of Canadian titles, publisher of Canadian authors, visitor to Canada, and observer of its ways.  Stephen Harper’s inevitable electoral bid for another majority will come no later than 2015, a time that I believe I will find more outlets for my writing.

If any Canadian friends, old or new, read this post, and want to get together or talk while I’m in town, please be in touch. You may use this link at my contact page, or find me at Twitter, @philipsturner

Finally, if you’re curious what the home page of the NXNE website looks like, here it is. My favorite bit is in the upper right corner: 1000 Bands * 30 Films  * 150 Comedians  * 65 NXNEi Sessions *  60 Artists


 

Lt. Gen. Roméo Dallaire, Soldier-Humanitarian and a Friend

Shake HandsIn 2005 while an editorial executive with Carroll & Graf Publishers of the Avalon Publishing Group, I brought out the U.S. edition of Lt. Gen. Roméo Dallaire’s brave book, Shake Hands with the Devil: The Failure of Humanity in Rwanda. In it he gives an anguished account of the period when, as a member of the Canadian armed forces he served as commander of the UN peacekeeping force in Rwanda. He saved the lives of approximately 30,000 civilians even while 800,000 people died in the genocide. When I acquired U.S. publication rights from Random House Canada, it had already been a huge bestseller up there, where Dallaire was a public figure. He was not yet well known in the States, but publication of the book here coincided with release of the movie, “Hotel Rwanda,” in which Nick Nolte played a Hollywood version of the general. The movie portrayal, though very inaccurate, elevated Dallaire’s notoriety, and enabled us to generate major reviews and book him on shows like Charlie Rose, and many NPR programs. Many U.S. publishers had declined to publish the book here, including Random House in in New York, but when the book came out here–with an added Introduction by Samantha Power, author of the Pulitzer Prize winning, The Problem From Hell: American and the Age of Genocide–it became a Washington Post bestseller and sold very well around the country. It is still very much in print today, from the Basic Books imprint of the Perseus Book Group, which bought Avalon in 2007.

Dallaire had returned home to Canada from the Rwandan mission a nearly broken man, suicidal and afflicted with severe PTSD. Yet he rebuilt his life and psyche and has gone on to do very important work in conflict resolution. I accompanied him to several of the NY interviews in 2005, sitting in the back of taxicabs and in green rooms with him. We became friends. Despite everything he’d endured, he showed a good sense of humor with an often merry glint in his eyes. I mentioned this to him, and he said, “A commander without a sense of humor will not be respected by his troops.” He’s a soldier-humanitarian and an extremely kind and sensitive man, rather Gandhi-like. From the position he holds now as a Canadian Senator he has moved on in his life to advocate for the end of the practice of armies conscripting child soldiers. Yesterday, Huffington Post Canada reported on a new project of his, The Roméo Dallaire Child Soldier Initiative, and an accompanying documentary called “Fight Like Soldiers, Die Like Children,” drawn from the activism that led to his second book, They Fight Like Soldiers, They Die Like Children: The Global Quest to Eradicate the Use of Child Soldiers, published  in 2011.

According to Huffington Post Canada’s Ryan Maloney, the movie “captures the innovative way Dallaire’s group is attempting to end this scourge of humanity, not just through research and training, but by staring down and shaming the commanders who put kids on the battlefield in the first place. Dallaire says the use of children in Rwanda was prevalent. He recounts watching packs of ‘wild-eyed, drugged-up’ kids use machetes to slaughter with reckless abandon. ‘It was interesting that the adults always seemed to be more in the back,’ he says.”

The article continues, “Where other programs focus on convincing kids to put down their weapons, the Initiative appeals to militia leaders directly and attempts to convince them it is disadvantageous, from a purely tactical side, to use a child in war. ‘That’s something that nobody else is attempting to do on this issue globally,” says Shelly Whitman, executive director of the Initiative. A key part of that process involves sending Dallaire to challenge these men on a personal level, often by appealing to their very manhood. ‘When another military leader sits down… and says (he) has no respect for you because you use kids, it’s a very macho thing,’ [director of the documentary Patrick] Reed says. Dallaire is confident that speaking with militia leaders directly will ultimately reduce the use of kids as instruments of war. He says his group has already been given the mandate to train the Sierra Leone army and police, as well as write curriculum for the primary school system to show children how to avoid recruitment.”

I’ll be eager to watch “Fight Like Soldiers, Die Like Children” when I can find it. Meantime, below is a trailer for it. The company that made the new film, White Pine Pictures, also made a powerful documentary based on Dallaire’s first book, also called “Shake Hands with the Devil.” I commend this brave and sensitive man to your attention. His important work could lead us to a better world.

Devastating Satire Aimed at Exxon and Big Oil

This satire on Exxon’s nasty oil spill in Arkansas was aired on the Rachel Maddow Show last night. It imagines a world where oil is conveniently brought right to your door, by letting it burble right up through your lawn. Sad to think this is what’s happened over the past two weeks in Mayflower, AR, as chronicled in stories like this NY Times article by reporter Michael Schwirtz. It must be noted that the material from this spill is a form of tar sands oil, similar to what’s being mined and extracted in Alberta, Canada, and possibly being brought in to the US if the Keystone Excel pipeline is given a green light. This dark devastating spoof, under a minute long, was produced by Heavy Crude Video with Andy Cobb appearing as the unhinged narrator. Watch it and weep.